A love letter to London.

Dear London,

My name is Mushfique and you were a part of my life for about two years when I left home from Dhaka, Bangladesh to pursue my Masters. I must say my experiences with you were bittersweet but memories still leave me wanting for more.

For me, you were always my home away from home. Growing up, I've always idolised and dreamt of being a Londoner someday and when that day came my joy knew no bounds. I was a faux- Londoner: trying to fit in with the locals, trying hard to take up the culture and ending every sentence with 'cheers'. 

From day one, I loved everything that you had to offer to me: the tube, the buses, the pubs, the busy passers-by and of course, Her Majesty the Queen. God bless her soul! I voraciously took in all the culture, the fashion, the food, the knowledge and music of all things. 

As time went by, I quickly grew busy with lectures and studies and forgot about you. As I moved out of my halls, I realised that the shiny city that never sleeps has an ugly side as well. I was working late at nights, waiting tables and and serving drinks to patrons. It was from that time that I had the real struggle. Working 12 hour shifts taught me some important lessons of life, something that I will remember for years to come. I am thankful to you, dear London!

As I went on from one house to the other in search of a cheaper place to live, I had the opportunity to come across some amazing people. Everyone had a story to tell and I sat down to listen to their experiences. Experience has been a great teacher and there's something to learn from everyone only if you listen to them. 

When it was time for me to end my hectic but amazing student life to return home, there I was alone in my room with two suitcases ready to be loaded in a cab. As I was getting ready to say my goodbyes to my flatmates, two years of London literally flashed by in a moment. I still remember that morning clearly: it was snowing heavily and I was massively drunk. Tears were running down my face and I was blank for a good few minutes. As I was getting late for the airport, I knew I had to get on to that cab.

Thank you, dear London, for giving me some of the best times of my life. I've been incredibly fortunate for all the experiences, both good and bad. I'll see you soon, my love. Cheers!

Where's the human connection?

Imagine a room full of people, a room that's silent and devoid of emotions. All you can hear are the clickety clack of the QWERTY keyboard that the people are clicking away mindlessly on their smart phones or phablets. Some of the people are breaking out in sheepish smiles in an attempt to feel normal from all the loneliness surrounding the big room full of people only to discover that someone has 'liked' their photos or made a comment about a status. The constant gratification of 'likes' on different social media platforms have consumed us in a way that's absolutely revolutionary! This makes me like the notion of liking. Some of them are swiping left, right, up and down in order to tirelessly spend their time and not make eye contact with anyone else in the room. It's like a halo effect, spreading from one person to another. Welcome to the 21st century, ladies and gents...the era of technology and alienation of the human soul. An era that has bastardised technology into some sort of a tool that makes us humans stupid and more ignorant even though we have the proverbial world in our fingertips. 

As I crack open my beer and sit down to write aimlessly about what's wrong with everything, I can't seem to figure out where to begin. That reminds me of a time when I was traveling once on public transportation and I made a remark about why the country is so fucked up. Upon hearing this, the driver said, "the country is fine, it's the people who are corrupting it." That struck me and hit me like a ton of bricks! 

When I see memes about my generation being the last generation who were photographed at birth with conventional cameras, it makes me feel ancient. But there's an unsaid underlying message that they are trying to give out through these memes: brace yourselves! Back in the day when there were no smart phones or internet or XBox, I believe I was happier. I was content with reading comic books after coming back home from school or saving that lunch money to buy that new cassette at the music store. I used to be ecstatic about making teams with my mates to play cricket and get into silly arguments about not being on the same team. I miss being excited about going birthday parties where it involved having cakes, playing hide and seek and just messing about. The 21st century has eliminated that human connection and made it comfortable where you can listen to music on the go or read an ebook on your Kindle or meet the love of your life on Tinder. Are we forgetting how to engage on a human level?

It's tragic that kids nowadays are born into technology, starting from the moment they are born. Selfies are kind of defining the way we celebrate moments now and we tend to come up with horrendous names that end with -fie. I'm not moaning about technology, it has done great things for me personally. But it's just that we've lost the human connection in the humdrum and the confusion of all the technology that surrounds us. It seems that we all rely too much on facebook, whatsapp and skype for our basic human interactions. To many, it would be crippling if some of these social networks vanished all of a sudden. Technology has created a false reality where we are all too busy for each other and our life updates come through facebook statuses. 

As I am nearing the end of this 'digital' piece of writing that's aptly called a blog, I can't help but think that I am part of the non human connection as well. My favourite fictional character Hank Moody would have preferred a pen, paper and a bottle of whisky to bust out thoughts when inspiration struck and so would I. But as I said, we are slowly losing that sense of engagement in the humdrum of technology. So, let me end this piece with one of my favourite lines by Hank Moody from the show Californication that brilliantly captures my thoughts about technology.

All in a day's work.

All in a day's work: what does that mean, really? What does that really mean in the context of Dhaka? People in developed countries complain about traffic, not enough public transports, standing in the queue, commuting for hours, lack of parks and open spaces. Well, please come and live in Dhaka for a while and you'll know that it's more difficult than you think. 

Being a twenty- something working professional who's in his prime and ready to conquer the world, I feel like I am doing a lot better than before. I want to say that my mid- twenties crisis is over but one can never be too sure of something like that. It is tough for me to get up from my cozy bed every morning as I literally drag myself to get ready. The morning dose of music does help to get my spirits high since I am not a morning person at all. I actually thought of plastering my walls with a couple of motivational posters about waking up early; then I thought to myself that I already have at least three different kinds of alarms on (one on my phone, one on my laptop and the ever efficient and timely wake up calls from my parents) so I let that thought be. So, that was hurdle number one and on most mornings I make it through and wake up. 

#Rusko says to Wake The Fuck Up!

Hurdle number two: traffic! I don't brace myself to face the traffic; what can I do to the problem that is hard to describe in words. I am not going to go over this again, I've written about the abysmal traffic problem in a previous post. So far in my professional career, I've been really blessed with workplaces that were quite close to home. I'd have hated it if I reached all sweaty every morning before I even reached the floor of my office building. So, I get in the car with my father who drops me close by to my workplace, put my headphones on and drown out everything else around me. Occasionally, I can hear my father freaking out and cursing at idiotic people and cars who blatantly keep cutting us off in the roads. I could care less: what's the worst that can happen? At least I'm always buckled up in the front seat! 

That's the traffic, no big deal. 

So, I’ve made myself to work without sweating or ingesting too much dust…great success! Now, the workplace is another circus, the only difference is the circus is confined between walls and cubicles and the employees are the circus animals. It’s just a treat to the eyes as well as the ears to watch and see them all full glory. I am nothing but a silent observer, I don’t enjoy the show obviously; however, I am just a cruel prisoner who has to go through this everyday. I think we are in general a nation of people who talk loudly, no matter what the circumstance; we just can’t talk in a lower register. I think it’s probably because talking loudly makes us feel important and that we exercise more authority than we think we have. I just sit at my desk, smile at everyone passing by my cubicle or have a disinterested look on my face and keep rocking to my playlist with my headphones on.

Homer says #shutup!

Educating the masses: don't put your feet up on the toilet seat.

Ok, so it’s almost the end of the work day and I am getting ready to go home or maybe chill out somewhere. But, where you ask? I’m honestly tired of seeing new cafés and restaurants popping up everywhere, offering the same kind of uninteresting food. I’d rather have a drink and by drink I don’t mean having coffee at pretentious coffee shops with pretentious people crowding those places who can’t wait to check- in or foursquare their virtual presence. I want to sit outside with my chilled drink in hand and enjoy live music in the evening. But that’s just wishful thinking and that’s not going to happen, at least not in my lifetime! Dare you think of opening a pub and people will be awestruck and stone you with all sorts of judgment; the same people who’ll probably go home and open up a bottle of scotch at the comfort of their own homes. So, I get into my running shoes and take a walk from work instead, occasionally stopping for chips to keep me company while I eat and observe people.

Take a #walk and do yourself some good. 

Alright, so I’ve reached home after walking for an hour. I thought I’d find it tiring to walk back home after a long day at work but frankly it’s better than sitting through hours of traffic for no reason. Reaching home feels like I’ve made it to sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of city life. City life is not as hyped up and glamourous as a lot think it to be; city dwellers never have enough time for anything. The weekend flashes by even before I realise that all I did was just sleep. I’d like to listen to more music, drink more whisky and cook fabulous meals for myself. I want to travel and meet my friends (how many I have left) as often as I can. I do like the city life, just not a fan of the life that Dhaka force feeds me. I am a nonconformist and a renegade, at least that’s what I like to think of myself. So, I’m going to do all of those things that I want to do and console myself by saying, “It’s all in a day’s work, mate!” because tomorrow is another day. Cheers! 

Basking in the sun!

Truth be told.

Artist: Shepard Fairey

Everyone wants a piece of the truth. People can even handle the truth and get to terms with it. But how many of us tell the truth? We all lie; it's a common human trait, a reflex when we know we can't tell the truth. But then again, we are humans and we are bound to make mistakes.

For years and years, the world has been going on based on many universal truths. I don't think anyone has been able to skip these truths and get on with their lives. Sooner or later, the truth tends to catch up with you. A classic example being the ever so familiar phrase of 'Time and tide waits for none'. Another one off the top of my head is from Murphy's Law which says, 'Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong'. True again, bang on!

But, do we really know truth itself? To me, truth is relative to what you believe apart from generally accepted truths. What I believe to be true might not apply to someone else, given their backgrounds, cultures and upbringing. I don't want to sound philosophical really, because frankly I have never read up on great worldly philosophies. However, there are things that are in- built in everyone, a belief system that guides and triggers us about things we know and believe to be true. We all bend different belief systems from time to time to accommodate our thoughts so that it registers as a truth to us. 

Artist: Shepard Fairey

On a different note, I was thinking of the internet, the network where many rely on as the Holy Grail of truth. The amount of half baked truths and whole lies that exist on the internet is just enormous. But then again, we are creatures of habit and a product of our environment. We are just too much used to taking things at their face value and pass it off as the truth. 

So, what's the moral and the truth that I am trying to get at? I've been wrestling with that thought for a while now and the only truth that I could come up with was just do what feels right for yourself. This might be nothing new but I am rediscovering this feeling in a different way, an old wine in a new bottle if you will. On that note, let me end this with a heavy tune about perspectives that is aptly named 'Set You Free' by Distance. Enjoy!

Fly on the wall.

Note: Before you readers venture into this little piece of writing, please be aware that these are my opinion and there's a possibility that you might not like what I've written. So, if you don't like what I have to say, please don't read it. This is written from observation and I've decided to put them here. 

This place, this city…is not what I remember it used to be. It’s a city of savages, waiting for the next bad thing waiting to happen; its people lurking in the shadows waiting to make the next move on its equally dangerous prey. Has it already become too visual of the place I still call home? Maybe it’s a matter of perception or maybe it’s because of the fact how things are at the moment. Words really don’t do justice and paint the exact picture I have in my mind when I go out on the streets every day. It’s ruthless, it’s dirty; it’s dangerous and vile. It’s sad to think I would ever stoop down to the level where I’d be forced to label my city with these words. Think of this as a rant, a visual journey or just a personal “street view” through the eyes of a person whose idea of his home town has drastically changed.

I am not a troubled person or so I would like think. I am just a normal person, just like thousands of others living in the same city. Maybe I am privy to some privileges than others but I count that as my blessing most definitely. When you go out on the streets, you’ll clearly see a chaos of the most deranged form. I shudder to think how people cope with this on a daily basis. It’s almost like a beautiful tragedy, a travesty, in the likes of a Shakespearean play.

When I set out for work, especially on a Sunday, there’s a weird sense of gloom in people’s faces. I don’t blame them; you are getting ready to go to work on a blazing summer day with streets full of obnoxious people and raging chaos. As I step out to walk towards the first available rickshaw, I’m already half drenched in sweat and covered with layers of dust. While walking down the road, I would invariably receive glares and stares from grown men on the road. I can understand why men would leer at women on the roads but a man starting at another man is just unacceptable. Then I started thinking about what was wrong with a lot of men in our city and came up with one thought: this habit of staring at men, attractive women, goats, dogs, is inherent. A lot of men in our city give very dirty and lewd looks to women on the streets and pass disgraceful comments which would put their own mothers to shame. I am very troubled when I write this but the other day I saw a couple of men leering at a woman on the street who was wearing a hijaab. This is the pits! My insides cringe to think what they must’ve said to each other as passing comments while they were doing a X Ray with their eyes.

While I’m making my way to work or even coming back home from work, it’s literally a struggle between man and machine. Traffic never seems to get easy on the roads and the behaviour of people seems to reach new heights of disgust and despair. You would think that on a busy road, jammed with rickshaws, cars, buses and stupid, daredevil people with no care for their lives would try and make things simple, if not easy. Rather, drivers keep blaring their horns with the sense of a gnat and rickshaws try to budge in from any corner inhumanly possible to try and be just an inch further than where he was previously stationed.  I observe all this like a fly on the wall, trying to be mute and not anger myself and lose my cool on an already scorching day.

I think of these people and the fact that they don’t have decency and common sense; it makes me lose faith in the goodness of a nation that is supposed to be one of the happiest countries in the world. Frankly, when rankings like this come out based on metrics like life expectancy and experienced well-being, it doesn’t mean jack to me. When the country is torn and divided between political parties and religious rifes, it makes me think that we as a country have been failing to bring some stability for the last 30 odd years. We have failed to bring “real” progress to a country which should’ve been thriving. I am not a pessimist, but reading this you might even curse me, claiming the fact that we are an independent country who fought for its land, language and freedom. While growing up, I was never properly taught how the country fought for its language and how East Pakistan became Bangladesh. Of course I know what happened but to me there’s a huge disconnect about what I know and how I feel about it. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck anymore. I’d rather be a fly on the wall. 

Cryptic Fate, Srestho, Danob and some updates

It was late in the evening and I was really really tired after a hard day’s work. As I was getting ready to head home, I saw Shakib Bhai, THE Dhatob Danob of Cryptic Fate, standing outside our office and having a smoke (yes, I work where Shakib Bhai works :D). Immediately, the fanboy in me came out and I went and said “Shakib Bhaiya, kemon achen?” Shakib Bhai, in his usual tone said, “Josh!” Given the fact that I’m a hugeeeee fan of Cryptic Fate, my questions and fascinations for the band never ends. So, I decided that it was a golden opportunity to strike up a conversation yet again about the band’s recent activities and the possibilities of a new album.

So, the conversation started and it lasted almost for an hour.  And the conversation where Shakib Bhai himself discussed Fate’s upcoming album ‘Jantrik Golojog’. A few months back I had the opportunity of listening to a short clip of one of the demos from the new album and it sounded so heavy that I couldn’t stop myself from asking Shakib Bhai about the heaviness of the new album. He was being very comical about the fact that the new album is going to please a lot of fans and people will think that CF worked their asses off and nailed another ‘great’ album. Well, according to Shakib Bhai, this album will be just about fun and not putting in a whole lot of effort. He was saying, “Manush jon bujhbei nah je amra kono koshto kori nai kintu amra bujhbo. Amra ‘Danob’ compose korar shomoy fatai khatsi and we proved to everyone that we can put out a great album.”

Shakib Bhai says that the first song has been done and they knew it was the first song when they played it as a band. “From day one, it just felt like the first song of the album. However, we are still trying to crack the beginning of the song as it always is the hardest part.” He is very happy with the way things are shaping up but due to a lot of factors like work, Bhoutist and the cricket world cup, he feels that work for the album is getting pushed to the back gear. He also said that there were some obvious progressions that CF has been through like the fact that the first album was just full of influences ranging from Iron Maiden to Pantera to Metallica; the second album still had that touch of influences but keeping some originality to it and the third album is the LEAP that has made them from good to great. And rightfully so! He said that all the great bands in Metal have been like that.

It’s nothing new that Shakib Bhai is a great lyricist and he is the composer of many of the songs of the band. He believes that Bangladeshi lyrics are lagging behind in comparison to the western bands. He said that Bangladeshi Metal bands can’t infuse  the aggression, delivery and the authenticity of lyrics. He was saying, “Shobai jodi ‘adhar’, ‘akaash’ aar ‘prem’ niye lyrics lekhe taholey toh hobe na. There can’t be any sweet emotions in Heavy Metal lyrics. Heavy Metal depends on three factors mainly: aggression, magnificence and the fact that it has to be over the top.” He was very proud of the latest CF single, Ondho. He was commenting about the fact that it was a very dark and a very heavy song at the same time; through the lyrics, he portrayed darkness with having a lot of power and in a positive light. What it all comes down to is the fact that Shakib Bhai CAN deliver brilliant lyrics with a lot of aggression.

At this point, I felt like I had a thousand more questions. So I went on and told him that the solos in the last song were just way too brilliant. Shakib Bhai then goes and says, “Gaan e jei solo shunso, those weren’t how they were written initially. I’m a person who’s very fidgety about solos; there are certain ways I want them to be done and if it’s not done the way I want it, taholey just HOI NAI! I’m very critical about the overall feel and the delivery of how a solo should sound and I disagree with my band members a lot of the times. But in the end, you know who’s right.”

I went on and on about how great CF is during live shows and how my first ever concert was a seeing CF live in a school show back in ’93. I also brought up conversations of ancient underground shows of CF and what songs they covered and what gears they had used and it was just awesome that Shakib Bhai was confirming all the facts along with me. My joy was just uncontrollable.

Coming back to what we were talking about, I was asking Shakib Bhai about some of the themes on the Danob album. He went on to explain that the song Daako Tumi Amar Naam is a first person view of God himself and when are the times that a person might call Him and the consequences of calling Him. The song Danob is about politicians living amongst us and controlling us and Jatra is about friends living abroad and making trips back to the country every now and then. Shakib Bhai said that many of his influences rooted from Grunge bands like Alice In Chains, Soundgarden etc. He said that the Grunge bands in the early 90s brought a sense of realism into songs in general. He proudly said that Heavy Metal lyrics in general suck and it’s all about the same thing. So, Grunge as a genre inspired him and his band and that lead to a new conversation.

This is the last leg of the conversation where we were talking about Grunge and how that partially gave birth to another project called The Watson Brothers. TWB was an amalgamation between friends and members from CF. The album Ohom from TWB also has an English version just like Srestho and songs from that album were totally different in the underground scene back then. Shakib Bhai commented on the album, “We wanted to start Ohom as a happy album and end it on a totally depressing note with an epic and sad song, which we achieved. An album that can contain songs like Akaash and Rong and songs like Jhor and …Shorey Darai Shesh Barer Moto is an achievement in itself.” He said Jhor is about a conversation of two people, one being a recluse and the other being an extrovert, where the recluse person likes being the person he is. This is followed by the song Prachir, which is about the recluse person saying that he likes being the person he is and the fact that he doesn’t want to change.

At this point, Shakib Bhai has already had his 7^th cigarette and I felt like I was asking too many questions. Being the fan I am, I felt super happy and I was giddy with joy with whatever I got to learn from the Metal Monster himself.  So, I left the office being super contented and instantly thought of putting it into my blog and sharing the wealth of knowledge I had gained about the band.

With Shakib Bhai at the Dio tribute concert, 2010